lucky to have you

Some days I feel sorry for myself, I had one of those last night, tears, cried  because I cooked a dinner no one ate, that Porter has a knot on his head for like two weeks in a row from trying to do what the big kids do which includes not napping when he should, feeling like a failure for not catching every fall and being incapable of stopping the screaming,  feeling the overwhelming mound of laundry on my couch, wondering how many times the people in my house will walk by that pair of pants in the hall and just leave them there, wonder how many people will fall on the tupperware lid tossed in the floor before it gets put away.  So I sat outside tears streaming sitting alone, and realized how blessed I am, blessed that their are babies to catch, leave clothes in my floor, that their are people at my table who need me to feed them and that their is my food in my cabinets to prepare, that their is a door on my home that is secure and safe, that their is someone in my bed who walks beside me tirelessly that I can find shelter in, I walked the driveway for I don’t know how long, seeing the road only directly below me in the dark and realized so often we see life that way, we only see the rocks directly below our feet, the ones currently on our path instead of raising our face to the light and seeing how vast the sky is, how long the road is and how beautiful the people walking beside us are, they are the treasure, they need me and great are you lord who has blessed me, let my heart cry to you when I feel overwhelmed and may you always respond with a light to see the world around me instead of the dirt beneath me



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