You can call on me

We say that so freely don’t we? How often do we really follow through and take the time to be there to answer? I have had this song stuck in my head for so long but it wasn’t until yesterday I realized how important that aspect was, we went to a D group! I know hold the shock and awe, this has been on our to do list for so long but a lot of changes had to happen to make it an option and tada 2 years later we made it! We had dinner with 4 other couples and 13 kids between us, it was wonderful, we prayed together, talked about life and I walked out feeling like a piece I had been missing was suddenly there, I am excited for this  new aspect to our lives and the kids absolutely loved the fellowship and had a fun college student to entertain them!! We have a big bucket list and I am looking forward to each milestone that comes to pass because the littlest often require just as much change and adjustment as a big one, we have to step out of our comfort zone.  One of the things we talked about was being able to be honest about your struggles and it rang so true, so often we don’t discuss our problems, our struggles with anyone for fear of what they might think- don’t you figure  if we are all feeling that way that we are just a room full of people refusing to admit humanity.  I get my feelings hurt easily- I try not to and sometimes it happens even though I know that what triggers it is silly and untrue but it still turns my stomach, I have a fear of being unuseful, I always have which was why I have always been such a hard worker- I never wanted to be the one not pulling my weight- I was always pushing myself, I may not be the most talented but I would not be out worked- for once though I realize that might be a useful piece of information to recognize about myself, my job as a mom is getting less time consuming as my littles venture into independence and that is starting to create anxiousness in me I think, or unrest.  I say all that to say this- my goal is to BE STILL to be present with my kids, present with my husband and when I find myself with time I am going to do my very best to give it to God, so that he may shape me and mold me in any directions he sees fit- that is my greatest challenge is to be still but if I don’t – what will I miss because I was busy.



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