Hey girl simmer on down a notch

Nothing burns my britches quite like being manipulated- one of my favorite friends says it best when she calls you out on that passive aggressive behavior- passive aggressive much??? If you want me to put my phone down say “hey can you just be with me for a minute” lets not say “wow I am glad we took the time to get together so we can sit on our phones.”  Then I watch my kids, they get it already too, Avery tells Porter how much cooler her red spoon is than his whisk so he will trade, innocent right?  or is it?  What happens when we begin to tell people what they want to hear to get our way or to get the reaction we want, its a lie though and I think you see it everyday.  Will it make you happy if I say my dinner is delicious even if I don’t eat it?  What about when it goes deeper, we say yes I will do that but on the other side of the screen we roll our eyes like yeah right I don’t need to do that – I don’t want to hear the song you so carefully selected for me I don’t need it.  What happens when you think something is good enough for me but on the other side of me you say- I would never do that- just think what she is doing to herself.  We do it though – everyday to the people we love most- we shatter confidences because it is so easy to do behind our screens, we harbor pain from people who have done it to us, but does it really stop you from doing it to someone else- not usually but why ? Selfishness- it is human nature and we so easily do it, but I hope to teach my kids this- because my husband taught it to me in the purest form- it is how he and I know that when we say – it is ok to go do something- it is ok that you take this time – I am ok- that its true, we take each other at our word, so that if he says it is okay to go take sometime for yourself there is no guilt for me to do just that. We take each other at our word, I hope my kids learn that right here, if you say be honest with me then do it and be respectful when someone is honest with you, I want my kids to say what they mean, and to mean what they say, so that in the most trying of years when I say are you okay- and they say No I can be okay with sitting down to listen why, even if it is hard, even if it is because of me so that we can mend that hurt right there.  I don’t want them to look at me and see through me and hear me say I am ok if I am not, I don’t want to hide my heart ache – but it is so so hard, to say when my tears are rolling mommy is just sad because the world can be hard.  So today mommy is not okay- but you know what that is okay because I will be, because I will forgive even those who don’t ask for it,  who don’t even know that it hurt .mainetance.jpg

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