Kids

I DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORIST

I mean toddlers, I do not negotiate with toddlers…but when I repeat it to myself I usually insert terrorist.  I mean face it they are demolition experts who can basically convince you they had a logical reason for the destruction they caused and why you should clean it up while they move on to the next task at hand.

I am about to implement a terrorist code of conduct:

WE DON’T TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE …. DO NOT ENTER THE AIR SPACE OF NEIGHBORS

NO SNITCHES (this sounds more like a prison rule) BUT SERIOUSLY – SHE BREATHED ON ME IS NOT A LEGITIMATE COMPLAINT

POSSESSION IS 9/10 OF THE LAW-  DO NOT TAKE THINGS FROM PEOPLE

THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY – IT IS A DICTATORSHIP (hopefully this rule will keep me from yelling DOES ANYONE KNOW WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE????)

REFUSAL OF ORDERS IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN (if I tell you to go potty- noway is not an appropriate response)

I WILL NOT MAKE CHICKEN FRIES AT 930 AM . NO EXCEPTIONS.

IF YOU MAKE THE SAME REQUEST IN 3 MINUTES TIME THE ANSWER BECOMES A PERMANENT NO….I WILL NEVER DO IT …NEVER EVER- I AM THAT STUBBORN

IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SAY “I TOLD YOU SO” I HAVE A TOILET THAT NEEDS CLEANING AND A TOOTHBRUSH YOU CAN DO IT WITH

FLATTERY WILL NOT WORK.  DO NOT TELL ME HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM OR HOW WONDERFUL MY DINNER IS (while you are not eating it) OR I WILL MAKE YOU LICK YOUR PLATE.

DO NOT JUMP OFF, STAND ON, OR RUN OVER ANYTHING. THE END.

IF I SAY IT IS HOT OR COLD AND YOU TOUCH IT- NOT RESPONSIBLE

IF YOU INSIST SOMETHING IS “MINE” IT WILL BECOME MINE- NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE BELONGS TO YOU.

IF YOU ASK TO WATCH TV CONSTANTLY I WILL LEAVE IT OFF FOR DAYS…TRY ME

That being said the day they figure out I am controlling Alexa from my phone will be a sad day, I am not listening to Frozen soundtrack a.”Mom, Alexa doesn’t understand me.”  Oh yes she does but Mommy is the boss of Alexa too !

Now if only I can teach the toddlers to read …..sigh

Camp is under revolt.

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