Kids

My tribe I

There are many foot prints in my story and all play a bigger part than the little split second you will see but these are the parts on my heart now, the things I learned or am learning but Clay is a piece of them all.

When I was young and looking for a man to fit into my world it was so important that he fit in with my friends, that he get them the way I did, some did and some didn’t but when Clay arrived it was different.  He cares gently for the things I love, for my friends, my family, and even though it is mostly in times of need he never denies them.  I have discovered over the years that his truth, hard questions, and authenticity make him almost magnetic.  He asks things that make people uncomfortable, questions they would rather not answer out loud but it builds an unbreakable trust.  I saw it first with Shea, she was the first of us to venture into motherhood, she was incredibly head strong, still is one of her most beautiful qualities (thank goodness Joel handle her so gracefully with out squashing that out) she was used to calling the shots and being the one we called for help or answers, and then K made her arrival and she changed us all. Shea and I had a unique friendship, one most people didn’t realize went so deeply, we disagree on most every parameter but she is the only one I have ever disagreed with that I can hold intelligent conversation with and not throw things at… We bonded over beers and unique eats and spent countless nights on the porch waiting for Amanda to get home from work. I am sure we watched an enormous amount of tv but I don’t remember that I just remember endless talk.  She introduced me to yoga which is a vital part of my life now, a love for cultivating things (which I am sure she is unaware her sun room of plants did) Today though hundreds of miles apart we are living the joys, victories and disappointments of adult life and it all started with Kali Marie. I had never been in a delivery room or seen any of the things I witnessed with K, as Amanda and I watched in utter awe of Shea’s strength with tears streaming our faces that little precious entered the world.  That was the first lesson to us on self sacrifice, it fused us together, inseparable hearts though in the future many miles would separate us.  Shea taught us much about the human body after child birth and of its elasticity because she looked incredible again with in what seems like weeks, but mostly she lit a fierce fire of protection in us for that little bundle and ultimately each other.  Life took us everywhere the next year, me to a new business venture, Shea to her moms and then to Texas, Amanda to venture out and make hair her solo gig (which we were all so proud of) Hollie to James and wedded bliss, life was a whirl and all of us were in different stages and it was easy to lose touch but it didn’t change our love for one another.  Still yet I saw Shea most, now it was via skype which we utilized often while I was patiently spending  hours in an empty salon and she was home working away at school and chasing the growing Kali, but then she came to Texas and our visits were easier, and then she went back to OKC where her journey with Joel would begin (physically it had existed for years)  Motherhood is scary and I saw very quickly how much assurance and support you need for keeping a small child alive, I always hoped Shea knew she could call at any time for our help but I remember the first time she called Clay first, it was over a rash of some sort but I remember my reaction so vividly, I was angry at first, maybe jealous but for only a split second and I realized Shea trusted him, not because he was mine but because she felt safe in the fact he would be honest and care for her needs and I was overwhelmed with pride and love, there were many instances down the road that I came to him with needs for my friends his answer was always the same and with out hesitation, yes, we say yes.  It was never me saying yes and then him granting the yes because they were my friends or because I asked…We said yes.  Shea is married to Joel (who has wintered the storm beyond measure) Kali at 5 years old is learning to read (I experience this through video) proud moment for her and Shea because she is an incredible momma and provider, and K is a big sister to B and I know they will be beautiful strong women, just like their momma.  I hope one day we can answer their calls too and they will know the fierce love we have for one another.

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