Redemption

Sometimes you ask God questions and he answers in a way you aren’t expecting- I had a mom fail this weekend, well to me it was but then God showed me differently.  We went to the Easter Egg Drop- which is my worst nightmare come true- TO MANY PEOPLE. I knew there was no place for them to go, in an area covered by people I knew but Hunter ran ahead of me and I lost sight of him, I panicked – I didn’t want to scare Avery so I dropped her with Paige and started doing my best to remain calm and find him.  My heart was racing, Clay looked worried, I felt sick and then I saw him in the arms of Aunt Jennifer, not panicked, not scared, just overwhelmed.  I immediately wiped my anxiety away so he didn’t see and told him how proud I was that when he couldn’t see me he went to an adult he knew and trusted.  I beat myself to death the rest of the day, that night Jen stayed with us and she said how he came up to her and asked her to pick him up because there were so many people.  I prayed over it – to forgive myself – and my heart said- it is not how they act when everything goes right but when it goes wrong, you are teaching him well. I broke.  It rang so true- I am raising them to be independent- to think the situation through and he did it- he’s 4 .  I was so proud —so so proud. We won’t be doing that again though- Uncle M volunteered to buy everyone their own bag of candy. DEAL.  Beyond that we had a wonderful weekend with our families and celebrated our Savior – recklessly.