What is your number

I read something that leaves me a little mind blown.  Job 14:5.  I read it and applied it to the last few months and I was just totally taken back.  Here I had been traveling around the world thinking I understood how the world works, and this verse just paused my life for a minute.5 You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer.  Let that sink in a minute, you don’t get an extension, he doesn’t decide to shorten it ….he already knows exactly how many minutes you will live.  EXACTLY.  It does not change.  Well that just makes a lot of my prayers feel a little silly- prayers for more moments yet he knew exactly the minutes .  Then I feel like someone knocked the wind out of me because God already knows what my number is…. holy smoke… I’ve said that so many times, in God’s time, God is in control but after reading that I thought wow he is in control far beyond our understanding.  That made my anxiety sky rocket for a millisecond.. that crazy anxiety thought was – what if it is this week??????? How would that change your day if you knew your number?  Would it be good? or be bad? Then I thought wow, that makes my SIL saying YOLO even more relevant.  Then it was like someone said… how does that change your day….well it sure didn’t result in me napping with the kids. It put me right here, to say it is not an exaggeration that you were fearfully and wonderfully made, it is not just a saying that he numbered the hairs on your head, and he know exactly how many minutes you will live, no extensions- are you living your best life? or have you decided it can wait a few more days?  I feel like God said to me, your number will not change, time has always been of the essence, nothing you can do changes your number – you just do you and show people me, because YOLO:)

Ramblings from a rained in Run-a-muk

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