Something dawned on me just now, I sit down every day during nap time in my bed- getting three small children to nap at the same time but when the stars align I usually have about 2 hours for myself. Sometimes that means I nap, sometimes I have to hold a baby, but most of the time it is my time to be still. You know what though, the minute I sit down on my bed – a voice in my head says – you are so lazy- your husband is working long hours and you think you have earned quiet time?- you could be sweeping that floor- have you seen the kitchen sink? you really going to take a time out with the bathroom looking like that? Then a text from a friend reminded me I am not the only one in this situation, she is holding a sleeping babe, and ask “why is it so hard to just sit here like this?” We live in a world that is all about energy, drink this, take that, do more stuff. You know what though- rest is reward, God says BE STILL, REST IN ME. The world says oh my don’t you dare sit down you haven’t ACCOMPLISHED ENOUGH, you have not EARNED that! God says rest is not earned it is freely given, all you have to do is take a deep breath and accept this grace, accept the beauty of this moment, so as I sit here holding a baby too (even though she isn’t mine I relish this moment) because God rejoices in rest, peace, and I praise him that in this moment when everything in me says you are being so lazy, God said sit with me. Today my dad stopped by for about 30 minutes, he was working in town, and he just sat in the chair with Porter, next to my chair, we hardly said anything but it may have been the most beautiful part of my whole day, I needed in that moment to just be in the presence of my dad, it has been a tough few months in our family with the loss of my Aunt but the world was right for a moment today. It made me realize that God is asking me every day to sit with him, and he can give me that rest, that peace, the comfort of just sitting in the presence of my heavenly father and knowing I am loved, I am worthy, and my rest is not earned- it is freely given.
so today John 15:9
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.
Camp-run-a-muk head crybaby