What would you do if you had time?

This is a notorious line, right? We use it even when don’t mean it. Oh I would love to have chickens if I only had the time….Oh I would put that laundry away if I only had time……I would be in such great shape if I just had a little more time. We think that we have planned time to participate in these activities. How many of you feel this way about your quiet time? You hear ladies talk about quiet time, and inside you are laughing hysterically.

There are days that there is no time before the kids got up, no time before bed. So where in this day do I have quiet time with God? I am struggling just to stay alert and awake . I can not sit down if I had wanted to! I fall asleep sitting up wine glass in hand on the regular!!!!

What is happening when you are waiting for your for the life with extra time to arrive ? or maybe you are waiting to arrive at a place you feel your best spiritual self, do you look around and compare yourself to the people around you? Of course you do, we all do it is in our face everyday on social media, beautiful images of glamorous lives. Does it make you feel the need to share beautiful bible verses on your feed so that people think you have your God life in order? What does that even mean?

You know what I realized this week? Maybe you are comparing your spiritual life to others too? I do. You can’t help but look around and think, I don’t pray as eloquently as she does, or I don’t hear God the same way they have, or my worship doesn’t look the like the ladies with their hands raised, I just feel silly. Guess what we all do. Ok well maybe I can’t speak for everyone but I can tell you that I feel silly- unless I can’t see anyone else. I feel insecure in a prayer circle when it is my turn to speak and more likely than not if I am put on the spot to pray I will sob. Usually to the point you can’t understand me. I know better than all of these statements, I know that comparison is the root of unrest, that my intimate relationship is beyond anyone else’s understanding. That my quiet time is unique and it is okay that it isn’t usually quiet.

How many hours in the day do you get to sit down in silence?- (in the bathroom doesn’t count- and if your kids are silent when that door is closed…well I am so jealous)

If I had to tell you the honest answer to that, it would be not very often.

That is what we are conditioned to think we need in order to check the quiet time box on our schedule though isn’t it?

I heard a lady say one time, ” I can not pray in here, it is to loud!”and I thought to myself….if it needed to be quiet to pray it would never happen at my house.

What happens if there is not quiet space in your day to read God’s word?

Did you fail?

I don’t think so, I struggled with this for a very long time, my house is a hub for small children, it is rarely quiet and when it is my eyes usually slam shut.

So how do I connect with God?

My dad calls me each day, sometimes the world is so loud I forget to call back but he doesn’t deem me a bad daughter, he just keeps calling.  So why do we miss two days of “quiet time” and feel like God has labeled us a bad kid?

There are sometimes I can sit in a car with my dad and not say a word, why do you think God doesn’t enjoy you just sitting with him, basking in his presence,  maybe I just sit on the porch with the noise all around me and think of all my blessings, and feeling the sun on my face.

Well some might consider me on the crazy spectrum if they followed me around and noticed it sounds like I am talking to myself somedays, but it helps me to stay connected to God if I speak out loud to him in the day, like I would my friends, but since I have not acquired a cell number to contact him I just speak out loud. 

I sing, God delights in my dreadful singing like I delight in my children’s performances, I enjoy hearing how people around me hear from God and the stories of the miracles in their life- usually podcast because I live in a kid-soaked world.

None of that replaces a good quiet time to read the Word and hear God speak to my heart but that isn’t always the way we connect and I have learned to see the beauty in every encounter.  Don’t put God in a box, he is with you every moment. 

Even if in that moment your toddler is slapping your arm, licking you and yelling your name. Currently happening because his playmates are gone this week.

Don’t put expectations on yourself that God did not place on you, he wants a relationship with you, he did not say that in order to have that you need 30 minutes in a chair with no distractions.

Sometimes it is a guided meditation, a podcast, blasting praise music and singing joyously, sometimes it makes no sound at all, and it could possibly be my daily dialogue with the one no one see’s, but  I know without a doubt He sees me and He hears my heart no matter where I am and I don’t have to yell….

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